I am watching the dance of the stars

And I see your soul

Wondering...

There is a star in the sky that was born for you

And a star that was born for me.

We have no say in how it burns

But it is our soul

Shining in the night sky.

You are the fire that warms your own place.

You are the fire that streams from one space.

Only you are given your face.

I am the luminescence that is only mine.

I am the luminescence that is not alone divine.

But I am here watching your fire shine.

And yet,

We live within the same sky

With our own ancient history;

Our stories that have

Endeavored to extinguish

Our soul.

But where do we find-

Amongst a thousand stars,

Amongst a million years of fiery past-

A flame that will always show its light

To just our own eyes?

I am watching the dance of the stars

And I see your soul's light

Illuminating...

Deborah H. copyrighted 2008

 I know the song within the captured bird,

A melancholy, rhythmic, beating heart,

A breathless sound; foreboding in its start

It carries on the wind-yet to be heard

An octave high and down, the cage is stirred,

For all who've come--to rest and soon depart.

The wing is clipped-to some, a work of art.

Within, her captive song is not deterred.

If flight returns and ever lifts the soul

If morning breaks forever or one day,

Her song, relentless in its reaching beat

Arise, it will, to take her on its way.

As feather's fade the spring must be consoled

With heaven's grace, both bird and song will meet. 

Deborah H. ~~2007

About 10 years, I went as a Freudian Slip.   I still have the costume...such that it is...

I was in a pinch for a costume with about a half hour to put one together.  I had an old full length slip (undergarment, for those of you not familiar) and a good old fashioned permenant black marker.  I caligraphy, I wrote "Freudian" down the front side and, voila!  A Freudian Slip!  cheap! quick and different! 

I began reading a book this weekend entitled "The Anatomy of Hope".  It speaks of one doctor's investigation and experiences with hope.  He talks of how hope has a physical effect on a persons healing.  He also speaks of false hope, trust and truth.  

Hope is not optimism blended carefully with denial.  Hope is seeded in truth and only there does it grow.  Hope is for something better. 

It seemed appropriate that I found myself in a conversation with a lovely woman who sat in the hot June sun selling raffle tickets to raise money for her extremely ill brother.  As we spoke, she told me stories of grace.  She told me stories of painful and sudden loss.  She told me of her great hope and great belief in something far more vast than this human condition.  I spoke of my own witnessing.. 

As I drove away, the song on the radio sang, "I have hope for you." 

Beautiful Things Can Come From The Dark ~~Azure Ray

Someone else's boy, I have hope for you,
That you will keep your love for the world,
Even though it beats you down, every day,
For the rest of your stay

If you could sweep up the pieces and watch them swirl,
You could even find love in the arms of someone else's girl

Someone else's boy, though your life has been short,
You've seen more pain than most of us know,
If you make it through this, vacuum up the mess,
Smile to yourself, lying on your nice new clean floor

Hmmmm....simply perfect.  

Yes, there are many people in this world who suffer to great degrees.   This man's plight stood firmly in my path and there are too many ‘coincidence' that sent me a message.   Maybe I can help in someway.  Maybe my conversation with this mans sister gave her some hope. It gave me hope...

I have been recovering from surgery I underwent this past Wednesday.   It is the fifth (and hopefully the final)  surgery I have had in the past 9 months.  I am almost there...and I really do feel wonderful.  

On Thursday, my Dad also underwent surgery for prostate cancer.   He is still in the hospital due to some minor complications.  We hope to have him home tomorrow. 

Other than this...well, I always have a lot to say....my mind is always full of profoundities, but I am too tired tonight to write much. 

Perserverance is more prevailing than violence; and many things which cannot be overcome when they are together, yield themselves up when taken little by little. 

Goodnight Moon...

In the journey that has been my life these past 11 months, I have been touched by friends and strangers alike.   Many of them I have not ever met but who have reached out to me via the phone or a card or an email.   Many I will never know. 

As I was sifting through the hundreds of cards I have received wishing me well and sending me prayers, I came across one that moved me deeply.  It was sent to me from a woman whom I had met once, shortly after my bilateral mastectomies back in October.  She is a merchant at a local store called 'Healing Pathways', a wonderful resource for holistic and spiritual information.  As I took a walk, I stopped in to rest and take a look around.  We began to talk and I told her my story of a breast cancer diagnosis.  I was planning to bring crystals with me to my chemotherapy treatment and she helped me find specific information about their healing properties.   She then gifted me a beautiful crystal and we exchanged contact information.   Month and months went by and we never spoke again.  In March, I received a card in the mail from her.  This is what it said:

Dearest Deborah,

The "AH" at the end of your name means "God With You".  You have come into my heart and mind several times this week and it is given me to write you.  The kingdom of heaven is with in you.  We are a world within a world.  My life changed the day I stopped calling out to God and began calling IN to Him.  And recently, I had a revelation about healing too.   I 'd been waiting for healing to ARRIVE or a bright light to appear to say I was healed or an Angel but a burst of reality hit me that just as the Kingdom of Heaven is within me -- within it is EVERTHING  I need including healing.  It is right here within.  And now from within I am calling my healing forth.  It is here and now within us. 

I hope these words find truth in you as they have with me.

All prayers of goodness, health and peace.

Sincerely,

JB

I heard a list read today.   It was a list of the names of some of the young men who've lost their lives in Iraq.   It was a short list.  But can this kind of loss be measured?  Can we bring ourselves to understand the immensity of the grief attached to each of these names?   I tried to imagine.  It was too much.  These men were all in thier early 20's.  I have a daughter who will be 21 and another, 17.  I cannot begin to imagine living with the horror of them serving in Iraq.  I cannot even glimpse at the possibility of losing them this way.  

How do we protect ourselves from this reality?   I think that the extent of the horror is measured by the extent of our capacity to live with it. The more painful it is, the more we are able to disassociate ourselves from it.  I am sure the psychologist or sociologists have a name for this behavior.   

Shouldn't we be totally appalled???  Shouldn't we be crazed with abhorrence??   These are our children!  Our future!  

I have heard it said that the opposite of love is not hate...it is indifference.   I am not here to make a political statement.   This is not political.   This is our children dying.  How can we be so indifferent?  How can we let this happen?  War.  Ignorance.  Fear.  Hate.  Intolerance.   This has got to stop.

Below is a link to the list of fallen soldiers.  This is a memorial that will continue to grow.  Each one of these soldiers has many who grieve their loss.  That grief will grow too.  Maybe someday it will touch you, or me.  Maybe it already has.   Take a moment, if you can bear to, and read the names.  Imagine each name as a stone tossed in the water.  Each creates a ripple.  Too many ripples will create a wave, a wave of tears.  A tsunami.  

http://www.fallenheroesmemorial.com/

Deborah H.

Chance is a dance

With the worst of the best.

Change is arranged

By the give and the take.

Choice is the voice

Of the chance of a change.

Deborah H.  ```1976